Attention Citizens of Nigeria.....Some Nigerian governors and Ministerrs
have been kidnaped and the amout of 850 million Naira is being
requested for or they will be burned alive with fuel...Please donate
generously for the good of our nation. Me i've donated 4000 litres of
fuel..LOL
Friday, 2 May 2014
jamb is a big problem
A MUST READ JOKE
Boy: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into University these days, except you are well connected…
Uncle: Yes thats true. …
...
Boy: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into University these days, except you are well connected…
Uncle: Yes thats true. …
...
Boy: Since you are connected, I came to ask you to help me get
admission into university after my jamb. Uncle: Ya that’s true…am
connected and I will help you.
Boy: Thank you uncle.
Uncle: You are welcome, so how is your result, is it Waec or Neco and how many credits did you get?
Boy: Uncle, its waec, I had only 2 credits in Agricultural science and Yoruba language, but I failed the rest.
Uncle: Well, that’s not bad,you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really, but native doctor (babalawo)..you will use your credit in Agric in collecting herbs from forest, and Yoruba language for incantations.
Boy: Thank you uncle.
Uncle: You are welcome, so how is your result, is it Waec or Neco and how many credits did you get?
Boy: Uncle, its waec, I had only 2 credits in Agricultural science and Yoruba language, but I failed the rest.
Uncle: Well, that’s not bad,you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really, but native doctor (babalawo)..you will use your credit in Agric in collecting herbs from forest, and Yoruba language for incantations.
biology exam
During a Biology exam, the first question was: “Draw the female reproductive organ.
” As the exam was progressing, Ehis saw Obehi bending down to look between her legs,
so Ehis raised his hands and shouted at the top of his lungs, “Sir, Obehi is copying from the original!”
” As the exam was progressing, Ehis saw Obehi bending down to look between her legs,
so Ehis raised his hands and shouted at the top of his lungs, “Sir, Obehi is copying from the original!”
black wahala
Blackberry don chop my money tire, na im I come vex yestaday sell am, come take some money buy China phone!
Now am in bigger trouble!!!
1. E go full after 3 minutes of charging.
...
2. The phone get TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, Firelighter etc.
3. I fit write Text message with a toothpick sef.
4. The spelling get mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc.
5. When aeroplane pass e go record "One missed Call".
6. When a big truck horn; e go show "Charger connected".
7. When Chinese man pass e go show: "One Bluetooth device found".
8. When fine gal waka pass, e go show "Ur favourite food found".
9. When ugly gal waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected".
Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo?
Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen:
no contact found
3. I fit write Text message with a toothpick sef.
4. The spelling get mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc.
5. When aeroplane pass e go record "One missed Call".
6. When a big truck horn; e go show "Charger connected".
7. When Chinese man pass e go show: "One Bluetooth device found".
8. When fine gal waka pass, e go show "Ur favourite food found".
9. When ugly gal waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected".
Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo?
Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen:
no contact found
Saturday, 5 April 2014
akpos printing press
Be careful who prints your wedding programme.
Akpos, who was printing a wedding programme was asked to put 1 John 4:18 in the programme but he made a mistake and Instead printed John 4:18.
1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear; because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love”
John 4:18 reads, “For you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband…
akpos printing press
Be careful who prints your wedding programme.
Akpos, who was printing a wedding programme was asked to put 1 John 4:18 in the programme but he made a mistake and Instead printed John 4:18.
1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear; because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love”
John 4:18 reads, “For you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband…
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
Akpos in a business meeting
Akpos was in a business meeting where other
moguls and wealthy men were present. Rich
businessman Akpos was looking for a way to
oppress the other rich men and show he was the
richest.
He shouted for his driver: Driver! Driverrrrr. Come
here quickly!
John the driver came quickly to his oga, Akpos.
Akpos now seeing that all eyes were on him after
the way he shouted loudly for his driver,
continued to talk loudly to the driver:
"Driver, go to my house, not the brown house o,
the white one. Not the white one in Banana Island
o, go to the white one in Victoria Island. Not the
one on Adeola Odeku street you hear, but the one
on Etim Iyang Crescent. Not any of my semi-
detached houses ie 22A or 22B, but go straight to
the 3 storey detached house with swimming pool,
CCTV, electric gate, wifi, marble-finished
rooms ensuite at No. 31.
Ehen! Now take this remote control for the large
black gate, press this button and it will open.
When you enter, you will see a blue 2013 Porsche
Cayenne okay.. Now perpendicularly
that 2013 Porsche Cayene is a silver 2013 Land
Rover LR4 Jeep, It is not that one. Trigonometrical
ly 35 degrees to the LR4 is the grey 2013 Lexus V8,
It's not that one. This 2013 Lexus V8 is very close
to a black Mercedes Benz Gl 4matic. The 4matic
Benz is just behind a Gold Coloured Chrysler 300c,
the Chrysler is beside my Red Escalade ESV which
is in front of my white 2013 Escalade EXT, blocking
a Hummer H3T, opposite a blue 2013 BMW M5.
Then make a u-turn by the BMW and you will see
three recently purchased powerbikes from the US
of A. Now take a diagonal sharp turn to the
extreme left and you will one oldddd archaic car, a
2012 white Prado jeep, which I will soon throw
away. Just beside that is my built-to-intern
specifi cation swimming pool, opposite of which
is a wine red 2013 Prado Altitude. Now you have
reached there.
Go to the boot of the wine red 2013 Prado Altitude,
open it, you will see red, white and blue briefcases.
The red one contains dollars, $10 million. Don’t
touch it. The blue contains Pounds, 8 million
pounds. Don’t touch it. The white one contains
Naira, I arranged them in hierarchical order -
1000s, 500s, 200s, 100s, 50s, 20s denominations.
Don’t touch them. Now near these boxes, you will
see a crocodile skin Christian Louboutin limited
edition wallet!
Check inside the designer wallet and you will see a
N10 note. Take that N10 and buy me N5 pure
water and bring it here promptly! I’m very thirsty!
Buy very cold one o and you better not forget to
bring my change!
One word for akpos!?!
moguls and wealthy men were present. Rich
businessman Akpos was looking for a way to
oppress the other rich men and show he was the
richest.
He shouted for his driver: Driver! Driverrrrr. Come
here quickly!
John the driver came quickly to his oga, Akpos.
Akpos now seeing that all eyes were on him after
the way he shouted loudly for his driver,
continued to talk loudly to the driver:
"Driver, go to my house, not the brown house o,
the white one. Not the white one in Banana Island
o, go to the white one in Victoria Island. Not the
one on Adeola Odeku street you hear, but the one
on Etim Iyang Crescent. Not any of my semi-
detached houses ie 22A or 22B, but go straight to
the 3 storey detached house with swimming pool,
CCTV, electric gate, wifi, marble-finished
rooms ensuite at No. 31.
Ehen! Now take this remote control for the large
black gate, press this button and it will open.
When you enter, you will see a blue 2013 Porsche
Cayenne okay.. Now perpendicularly
that 2013 Porsche Cayene is a silver 2013 Land
Rover LR4 Jeep, It is not that one. Trigonometrical
ly 35 degrees to the LR4 is the grey 2013 Lexus V8,
It's not that one. This 2013 Lexus V8 is very close
to a black Mercedes Benz Gl 4matic. The 4matic
Benz is just behind a Gold Coloured Chrysler 300c,
the Chrysler is beside my Red Escalade ESV which
is in front of my white 2013 Escalade EXT, blocking
a Hummer H3T, opposite a blue 2013 BMW M5.
Then make a u-turn by the BMW and you will see
three recently purchased powerbikes from the US
of A. Now take a diagonal sharp turn to the
extreme left and you will one oldddd archaic car, a
2012 white Prado jeep, which I will soon throw
away. Just beside that is my built-to-intern
specifi cation swimming pool, opposite of which
is a wine red 2013 Prado Altitude. Now you have
reached there.
Go to the boot of the wine red 2013 Prado Altitude,
open it, you will see red, white and blue briefcases.
The red one contains dollars, $10 million. Don’t
touch it. The blue contains Pounds, 8 million
pounds. Don’t touch it. The white one contains
Naira, I arranged them in hierarchical order -
1000s, 500s, 200s, 100s, 50s, 20s denominations.
Don’t touch them. Now near these boxes, you will
see a crocodile skin Christian Louboutin limited
edition wallet!
Check inside the designer wallet and you will see a
N10 note. Take that N10 and buy me N5 pure
water and bring it here promptly! I’m very thirsty!
Buy very cold one o and you better not forget to
bring my change!
One word for akpos!?!
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